“Rosbalt” continues the project “Better Half Life” aims to show and prove that the active life – the most effective cure for old age of the now existing.
On why men need to prepare for retirement long before leaving work, why learn to old age, and in connection with which older people often refuse assistance on the street, told the St. Petersburg State University, Faculty of Psychology lecturer Olga Strizhitskaya.
– You can mentally prepare for old age?
– It all depends on the perception of this period of life. People who are more or less satisfied with their lives, who know how to appreciate themselves and their achievements, understand what constraints are imposed aging. So they think through in advance what will be doing in the future, it will incur any material and psychological costs for them.
But those who think that old age – is decrepitude and helplessness, trying by all means to delay it. 70-75 years old, they can not accept the aging process, assume that all of them in order. Thus the main psychological task of any man – take your age and be able to enjoy it.
– Men and women experience aging differently?
– Women are a little easier. Them before retirement is not necessary to make any preparations: losing jobs, women completely turn their attention to the household.
But the men leading the sphere of implementation remains a profession. A man who is afraid of his own age, to adapt to a new life incredibly difficult. Therefore, even before the pension must necessarily create a new field of activity, for example, to plan a trip to the country or to organize a workshop at home.
– What happens if you do not prepare?
– Suppose such a scenario. Men retire, and his wife at home. Imagine forty years they worked and met in the morning and evening, on weekends and holidays. Now they have released a huge pile of time. How to fill it? If men do not have their classes, they will come up with his woman. Where is he, of course, help, somewhere to go, but it imposed job that will cause a certain share of rejection. It sounds funny, but after forty years together accumulated during retirement irritation may bring to divorce.
At the time, in Mexico there have been studies that showed that the man is the head of the family, while earning money. When a man retires, becomes head of the family woman. Replace the role of men usually are experiencing difficulty. Thus in general, men are more optimistic, because women are more prone to introspection.
– As yet possible to simplify retirement?
– I do not have exact data but I can assume that the safety of the elderly in St. Petersburg, higher than in other regions. Books, exhibitions, theaters – a part of our culture, and knowledge help to increase life expectancy. The more a person is formed, the retained his cognitive functions: memory, attention, thinking. Obtain any useful knowledge and skills, it is not just about higher education.
– How knowledge helps in practice?
– When we learn, we need to constantly read and remember, to apply knowledge to solve problems. So, we have a long time to keep yourself in good shape. Imagine learning elderly person is not necessary. Then just remember how much money to carry electricity. It is advisable to have in mind a home phone number. And all. Daily life in terms of memory poses minimal tasks. To keep the function in working condition and encourage the preservation of the brain, and the need to develop more practical skills associated with fine motor skills, engage in modeling, embroidery, knitting.
– Proud seniors would not be engaged modeling.
– The potential is very high in the elderly: they are sometimes able to do even more than the young. Fewer demands on the part of society – more inner freedom. At the same time the most difficult – to motivate them. Adults should understand clearly why it is needed, why it is interesting. To do this, you must constantly refer to the experience of the person. If he sees that you value his knowledge, understand what is important to them, then it will respond immediately.
– What are the problems you often come?
– Older people sometimes complain of loss of function and asked to help, for example, return the memory. Often want to get a little attention from the family that they need. Accessed by adults who wish to make their elderly parents “comfortable” for themselves. This, of course, incorrect wish, but it is necessary to work to change the person. It happens that the elderly come with a complaint against relatives who hang them on a bunch of cases and do not give to live for yourself.
It often happens that the children do not ask whether they want their parents to sit with their grandchildren from morning till night, They have time or not. Very often people suffer who planned their retirement and, of course, prepared to the best of care for their grandchildren, yet they still enjoy going to the theater and somewhere to go. On the one hand, they feel guilty, and the other – they will annoy family responsibilities.
– your consultations help patients?
– often result depends on the extent to which children can hear parents. The most important thing – to find a compromise, so to solve the problem is not always possible. Some elderly humble themselves, more authoritarian people say, “I’m older. Let me hear.” In such a situation, conflicts continue.
– Judging by the news, the elderly every day open the door to strangers, who are scammers. Why is this happening?
– I will tell you a terrible secret: with age, people do not change fundamentally. Is that some features are sharpened. Trusting person becomes more trusting, prone to conflicts often begin their initiates. Age, opening the door to fraudsters people for no apparent reason will not.
– I have repeatedly faced with the fact that older people refuse assistance on the street. This can also be explained by personal psychological features?
– All of us do not want to appear weak and helpless. Seniors often hear in the sentence to help pity and condescension, and it demeans the person. In our society, unfortunately, negative stereotypes towards pensioners are very strong. There is evidence that we share the elderly into two types: the elderly in general and our elderly. We all think that these are the bad old, constantly dissatisfied with something, always grumble, but our grandmothers who bake pies, very different – they are a rare exception to the rule. Because of this, there are many problems.
– This distinction can be removed without the help of psychologists? Perhaps with the help of some programs on television?
– Honestly, I would generally banned elderly watch television. They look at everything, not filtering information. Then they have a bunch of different wacky ideas about life that do not correspond to reality.
What we lack is the clubs for the elderly, where they could meet with the youth. In other countries, this system been established. For example, in Finland, actually existing guys want to volunteer to spend time with the elderly. Something to teach, to learn something. It is important that we had something similar to products not worn retirees, and met them. To some it was not invited from the province of the actors who portrayed to interest, and the present youth.
In St. Petersburg, a total of 30 centers per million elderly, less than ten schools and universities for seniors. For example, in Bulgaria, 5 million inhabitants 300 clubs for the elderly. Many of our senior citizens simply do not know where to go to give us something to do.
– Our officials boast and present the results. What do you do?
– For any state support, or the support of businesses. We underdeveloped charity. Companies could create on its basis clubs. From this would be a huge benefit as their older employees who have worked for the company and retire.
Peter Mikhailov
The project is realized by means of Grant St. Petersburg.
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